Recently very into Hillsong music. I am inspired to have my own record label of worship tracks. WAHAHAH

GDOP was GOOOOD! I thank God for bringing Sonia and Erin with me to the stadium today. It was so touching and heartwarming to see so many fellow Christians gather together to praise and worship. Having my mom beside me was a bonus too. I could sing all night long. I guess that's how heaven is. I'd love to go there someday, forever.

No worries I am not suicidal but realistically speaking, we will all die either before or after 65 yrs old. i.e. death is inevitable. So why fear and worry about anything at all? We all know where we're gonna end up. So let's just make the best of our time on earth. For others, esp those we love and who love us.

Speaking of death, I pray that Aidan is by the side of the Lord now. May the band of brothers stay strong together and not lose that bond they have even tho one of their own has passed on before them. May this event make them realise the vulnerability of men and find strength and peace in God. That's my hope and prayer for them.

I am also asking God to bring Cindy my sister back to reality. I have no idea what her medical mental condition is but I think it is caused primarily by self-pity. That is probably one of the most detestable characteristic anyone can have, in my opinion. It's so easy to yell at her to 'wake up! be sensible!', but I guess I could never be in her shoes and FEEL how she feels about her life. I get angry and annoyed when her condition acts up. Why doesnt she see the value of her life?! If only she could see how heartbroken Aidan's mom was at his wake. Then would she realise the value of a life in the eyes of their treasured loved ones.

It is so easy and comfortable to be angry and annoyed and impatient, esp when there is a logical reason behind it. It is a comfort zone that degenerates the soul. May I never get back in there again.

I had my first taste of rejection today. I finally got around to call pple up for appointment after half of doing nothing but lamenting about my habit of procrastination. Ironic but true. I knew exactly what I had to do to rescue myself from the depths of self-pity & self-resentment BUT I chose to sit on the couch and stone in front of the TV. Thank God Cindy insisted on going for the Loreal private sales, if not I would have slept my afternoon away.

Anyway, I made my first phone call at 5ish pm. It took me a while to decide which name to pick to be the auspicious first person to call to start this whole habit of calling pple up. Turns out that that first person was nastier than expected. Well, I did expect rejections. BUT I didnt expect it from a friend whom I was so close to in sec school. We literally had recess tgt everyday! The mention of "Great Eastern" was like a taboo word to her, she immediately resorted to saying her bf is in the industry. Benefit of the doubt given to her, but the whole conversation was so revealing of her character and value as a friend. Utterly disappointed.

Today is a reality check for me being in the business. Rejections, people, characters, relationships... I knew it wasnt gonna be easy, but I NEVER knew it till today. Good news is, I am looking forward to more of it. Sounds bian tai? LOL. Well, I know my purpose, I know what it means to be in this business and I know this is only the beginning. Most of all, I know I am improving everyday. That's what life is all about isnt it. Our purpose here on earth. All I have to do is trust that the Lord will and can deliver me from the troughs and towards the peak. It is great to know I do not have to worry about tomorrow. Like my mentor said, "Dont count the no. of falls, count the no. of times u pick yourself up. That's what really matters."

Good night to another day of eventful experience. Life has never been so dramatic yet real!

Once again, I am tempted to offer my mother the option of killing my Grandma. If only it can stop the mumblings, complaining, hostility that is so uncalled for especially from a Christian. And I have to pretend to be interested in my grandma's storytelling. She speaks to no one for hours until we are back from work in the late afternoon. I have to pretend coz it's the nth time I am listening to the same story. My father has resorted to shouting for her to SHUT UP the moment she 'talks' to my dad abt her past. Maybe I should offer the same offer to my dad as well. He certainly looks as if he loves his damned luo han than his own mother. Should I feel happy for the fish or feel sad for my grandma, or both?