Some things to give thanks for today..

I survived the meeting with a corporate client with my mentor and another colleague this morning. I thought I would die of embarrassment in there due to my lack of prdt knowledge and participation. But to think of it, I think I was given the opportunity to even be there coz the intention was for me to learn. And learn I did, hopefully as much as I could.

I did not nap! I had to go back to office to complete a task and I am still super awake now. The sleep monster may not be a problem for you, but it is one of my biggest enemy. I am never physically tired, well, not often. But sleeping is always the best alternative to work. And because I know I have to work and keep growing, I shldnt be succumbing to the sleep monster's enticements. During my waking hours (LOL), I also made a couple of appts for the week, WHICH I wouldnt have done so if I stayed at home to...ZZZZ.

I was conversing via sms with an ex colleague who is now a client and also a friend. I found myself telling her alot of what I thought when I was in Switz, and the self-pitying and unactivity after I returned. I realised I really love my mommy and I thank God for blessing my sisters and I and my dad, who is so unlovable sometimes, with her in the family. =)

A verse has been ringing in my head since conversing with this friend: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and everything shall be added onto you". I wonder how many do that in an attempt to attain the latter part of that verse. I really wanna seek ye first in everything I do and I hope people ard me, good and bad, will constantly be there to help bring me closer and closer to Him.

I think the best thing to say now to end this post, is to say it like my sista in Switz always do:

"Thanks be to God!" =)

Honestly I haven't really been working very hard the past 2 weeks. I did have a unsettled feeling during these 2 weeks because I was disgusted by my own laziness and lack of self-discipline. In fact, I felt so bad I thought I would have a very hard time getting back the momemtum to start calling people, meeting people and closing sales.

During those times, I prayed and complained to Jesus and I was easily moved to tears by songs that spoke of His omnipresence. A close friend of mine also reminded me to use every spare time that I have, praying and reading God's words instead of just sleeping and not doing anything useful.

I realised that I was unhappy with myself and my progress in work because I simply did not meet the standards/expectations that people have of me as a young planner. I am expected to 'chiong' for work, keep myself busy by either meeting people or calling people, and ultimately, to hit a year-end target of $x.

Although I was feeling less burdened over the weekend, I was still worried over work as I went to church today. It is a weird feeling when I know, as a matter of fact, that God will take care of me, but I do not really believe or accept it because I still worry about it. But today's sermon based on Daniel 3:1-7 really taught me a few things that put my mind at ease.

Firstly, I was amazed by the scope of the lessons that we could learn from the bible. What seemed like a ordinary factual narration of what happened many years ago, was in fact filled with lessons to be learnt in our modern society. It reminded me of practical critism which I did back in JC literature classes.

Secondly, the issue of gaining control over our lives and being aware of the distractions and worldly powers that surrounds our lives, enlightened me on the worries that I have been carrying with me for the past 2 weeks.

All in all, it made me more excited about attending the Disciple course, which I have signed up for, and also Sunday services. =)

Yup, so me now happy girl looking forward to a fresh week of work. I also hope to progressively be on a 'broadband' communication mode with Jesus. Apparently, I think I am still on 'dial-up' mode... Boo..

This video made me burst into laughter in office...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csST_uyxjf0

Corporate meeting brought to another level.. Enjoy. =)

Today has been rather relaxing for me. I got up late and postponed a meeting with my agency manager till after lunch. And the only appt for the day didnt eventually turn out to be what I expected.

I know some people do not even respect what FPs do. It is as if we are the free-est people around with nothing much to do except to meet people over coffee, meals, beer etc. My appt with this ex colleague turned out to be a dinner with 3 other of his colleagues. Afterwhich he was too tired to even continue with a proper session. My first thought was, financial planners must seem so 'fan jian' to him. I thought I was rather accomodative, to the extent that it seemed like my time was at his disposal.

I know it is self-doubt and inferiority complex fighting its way into my head again. But I am glad that, somehow I enjoy such times coz now I know that the only thing to do is to seek Him. And I am starting to, slowly but surely.

It is so easy to complain and just dwell in my own sorrows. But it feel so much better when I remind myself that, "He wants to show you things that only you can understand by living what you are living, and by being in the place you are now."

I like to remind myself everyday that I live in hope and not in failures. =)

Most common activities I have been doing since I came back from my holiday:

• Boozing
• Sleeping

Ultimate ways to escape from my responsibilities & reality.

God told me, during church service, that today would be a brand new start for me and that I am well taken care of by Him.

Then why do I still feel like shit?!

Did you know that,

I am...

Not as cool
Not as calm
Not as confident

Not as smart
Not as wise

Not as charming
Not as popular
Not as eloquent

Not as Godly
Not as humble
Not as loving
Not as caring

Not as disciplined
Not as driven

As I think I am or could be..

?

Open The Eyes Of My Heart

Open the eyes of my heart Lord,
Open the eyes of my heart, I want to see You.
I want to see You. (2x)

To see You high and lifted up,
Shining in the light of Your glory.
Pour out Your power and love,
As we sing holy, holy, holy.

Holy, holy holy.
Holy, holy, holy.
Holy, holy, holy,
I want to see You. (2x)

I had a lovely lovely time catching up with my 3-in-1 excolleague/client/friend. I would never have thought that we would still be in contact and have such lovely conversations back when WE were at CAAS (yes, another tragedy. LOL). I think God sends beautiful people into our lives when we least expect it. Pleasant surprises. =)

We shared about our mothers, parents, siblings, boyfriend. We laughed and laughed and I drank my beer while she sipped her Latte. Reminds me of the relaxing time in Switz. I so miss that place and the life there. I realised I miss my friends here too. Haven't had such conversation with my closer friends for a long time. Maybe I never had such conversations with some of my so-called 'closer' friends at all. Perhaps I never even tried in the first place. hmm...

I am looking to more 'quality' time spent with my friends, even with my family and most importantly, with God.

Day 1 on the airplane, @ Turkey airport: I spent the longest birthday I ever had on the airplane and transitting at Turkey airport. I miss Changi airport. I think the best thing they have there is Starbucks Coffee. It is yummy anywhere and everywhere.

I went to the Lord’ Clinic to have my routine check-up and I confirmed I was ill:

When Jesus took my blood pressure, He saw I was low in tenderness.
When he read my temperature, the thermometer
registered 40º of anxiety

He ran an electrocardiogram and found that I needed several “love bypasses” since my arteries were blocked with loneliness and could not provide for an empty heart.

I went to orthopedics, because I could not walk by my brother’s side and I could not hug my friends, since I had fractured myself when tripping with envy.

He also found I was shortsighted, since I could not see beyond the shortcomings of my brothers and sisters.
When I complained about deafness, the diagnostic was that I had stopped listening to Jesus’ voice talking to me on a daily basis.

For all of that, Jesus gave me a free consultation thanks to his mercifulness, so my pledge is to, once I leave this clinic, only take the natural remedies he prescribed through his words of truth:

Every morning,
take a full glass of gratitude

When getting to work,
take one spoon of peace

Every hour,
take one pill of patience, one cup of brotherhood and one glass of humility

When getting home,
take one dose of love

When getting to bed,
Take two caplets of clear conscience

Do not give in into sadness or desperation for what you are going through today.
God knows how you feel......
God knows exactly and with perfection what is being allowed to happen to you in your life at this precise moment.

God’s purpose for you is simply perfect.
He wants to show you things that only you can understand by living what you are living, and by being in the place you are now.

May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.

For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.

Love from Switzerland! Love the weather and lakes here. Mom and I have been mostlz sight seeing and eating. For me, also boozing. Hard to resist the cheap beer here. I had the longest ever Birthday too.

Learning to count my blessing everyday. I am happy that my sister will be staying in such a beautiful town for next couple of years. Beautiful beautiful!!!

http://www.avaaz.org/en/honour_the_afghan_code/tf.php/?CLICKTRACK

I don't know where this petition will end up or how effective it will be in accomplishing anything at all.

I think the least we can do is pray for the hostages and may the world learn something good out of this.