"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

I like this and I hope when my time runs out, I'd be proud to proclaim it. =)

I spent the entire week PMS-ing. I realised my mood plunges and appetite swells during this much dreaded period (no pun intended). Alfred and I were on our way out for lunch over the weekend and he casually asked me what I wanted to eat and my response was, "alot alot!"... Gluttony is a sin, I know. MUahahahah

The weekend was muchhhhh better. FINALLY went shopping after months of retail drought. The shopping spree left us with blistered feet coz we unwittingly chose to wear the most uncomfortable and un-shopping shoes. I also paid for the most expensive ever parking fee of $14.80 for just 6 hours of parking! This is a reinforcement to my resolution of not owning a car till I can afford 100% full payment of it.

I refuse to blog about the past week's negative thoughts coz I have gotten over them. All I wanna believe and hope for now is for to God be my strength every day, every minute and in everything that I do. And the people of God say... AMEN!

It is quite disconcerting to be reminded of the fact that I WAS thin, and that I could carry off funky messy no-need-to-comb hairdo.

Boo..

I am another successful victim of Facebook, I am totally hooked. I find myself logging in every other hour. It is satisfying enough just to accept a new friend's request. ... Cheap thrill.

I have come to the conclusion that what ever the circumstances, there is nothing anyone can help me to achieve if, in the first place, I do nothing to get it. I am the most important entity in the equation of 'my life'. Well, of course God should always be the fundamental foundation of all living thing. BUT... at the end of the day, even if I believe in God and a personal calling, yet still do not get my ass off my bed to work for whatever my purpose is, I am as good as a dreamer, all-talk-no-show wastrel.

So, I just need to work. Yes, JUST BLOODY HELL DO IT.

Bloody Am*ricans!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuyfmvnwoG8

Idiots.

I know I shouldnt be pinning so much hope on any particular case. The higher the expectations the greater the disappointment. How very true.

I know I need to detach myself from my negative emotions tt demotivate me. But but but, I bui gum wan that I have been working and spending my time on something which does not bring results!

Seriously, all I am asking for is honesty. Why be so defensive!? Argh. People...

I made a promise to myself that I will never own a car until I can pay for the full price (i.e. no loan or instalments neeeded). Today, I finally realised how costly it can get to maintain a car, which by the way, is a depreciating asset. I wont even call it an asset. It is a freakin' waste of money for someone who cant afford a substantial amount of itz full price. I travelled for less than 50km today and it has already cost me $15. WTF!?

I am concerned for a friend whom I was having dinner with. Self-belief is really lacking in many people nowadays. Worse of all, many still go not believe in the existence and power of a God. I will keep praying for this friend of mine. Meantime, our beer sessions will continue. LOL.

Business has been slow but I am confident that i will meet my year end target, which is very minimal anyway. I really wanna be able to work on more cases. I WANNA WORK! Thank God for that. =)

There's something seriously wrong with me these days. I wake up in the mornings feeling all motivated and inspired to work harder. I get all charged up for appts and even at the thought of going to office for coaching sessions. But when I am an appt and I get a rejection, I get defeated in an instant, not by anyone else but myself. By the time I get home at 8, 9, 10ish I feel so demotivated I wanna do nothing that has to do with work. Therefore, I end up chatting online, till past 1am. WTF.. seriously, what is wrong with me?! I feel like I am wasting my time, doing I dont know what.

I need to re-strategize and get my act together. Argh (once again)!

A rather shit day for me today. Woke up later than I had intended to and had to rush thru some final presentation ideas in just 30mins before heading down for my first appt. Mhy thoughts were all over the place and when the prospect showed up, I didnt say anything that I had intended to say at all. As usual, another case in the pipeline, with no confirmation of a closure. Hate it hate it hate it!

When I got into office, with the intention to prepare my presentation for the evening appt, somehow I just couldnt get started. I had this really strong feeling that it will not fall thru anyway. My sixth sense is usually quite accurate. This time it was no exception. Basically, I wasnt able to bring out the importance of financial protection to the prospect. I am so mad at myself for being incompetent.

As I was on bus on the way home, listening to sappy music feeling like shit and on the verge of tears, I realised what an idiot I was to not do what I didnt do. ANyway, here's a lil background to the case:

The prospect wanted an investment plan. But her financial protection level is minimal and from the looks of it, she could easily afford another protection plan to pump up her coverage. So, my approach was for her to increase her coverage and kiv her invesment plans. Well, it became more evident that her priorities were not to protect her future human capital, but to increase whatever capital she has now by way of investment, which I totally disagree with. So towards the end of the meeting, after I failed to show her the importance of protection, I also refused to dish out any investment plans.

I wasnt feeling down just because of this case. As of now, I have 5 cases in the pipeline, which is taking me forever to close, coz I am coming in with an advisory role which is a longer process than just product selling (giving people whatever they want, makign sure that I make as much money in the process as possible). Sometimes I wonder why I bother to explain so much. People are generally not bothered about their money. And if they dont bother to think about their future, and in this case, not even interested to gaurantee their financial independence, why should I?! If they crash and burn but not die, leaving their family with no choice but to take care of them and to incur extra cost because of them, it is SO.non.of.my.business! Seriously!!

I am f*cking annoyed. I need to ROAR!

ARGH.

I simply have to blog about this...

I wanna go home...

Guys just have a bad estimation of time. My dad siad he'll be here in 10mins. it has been 20mins and he is still not here. Hence, the pic above. Uttterllyyyy bored and very tired now.

Hwee sings, "Take me home, take me home...."

Self-Update

I like what I am doing, except that it isn't bringing in much money at this point in time. I thank God that I am not distracted by the cruel fact that I am under-earning. Patience is a virtue. At this point I would say it is an absolute necessity, to keep me going.

Money and work issues aside, I am generally happy. Working towards building stronger relationships with existing pals. Also trying to expand my circle of fwens. Not easy, not in my character, but I'd like to at least try. I realised I am picky when it comes to befriending. Selective love. lol. But He said love thy neighbours, not some neighbours. So yeah, I guess I gotta work on that.

Still in office at 830pm. Dont like to be doing nothing constructive at home. Would hate to listen to dad shout at grandma, vice versa. So office is the best place to be in, when I have no appt in the evening. I am really drifting away by the min... I can almost imagine myself driving back home, now on Upper Changi road.. turning into paya lebar road.. hitting the entrance of the PIE... driving thru the mad traffic along PIE, then CTE... exiting at AMK ave 1... check at filter lane, turn into amk ave 1... keeping right to turn into amk ave8... 400m to amk street 31, HOME!

Someone should work on invention of Telepot (is that how u spell it!?). Dont even have to sell to me, I will buy.